How to date a Farmer.

How to date a farmer, advice based on experience.

Seriously though, this is an important topic,  because we all know that single farmers are a species that are extremely shy and prone to habits of living alone, never venturing near populated areas, and being neither nocturnal, nor daylight creatures.. They just hibernate and hide in hollows in the wheat fields if there is a sign of female singleness around..

They are also a nationally recognised endangered species, with no public reserves in which to hide or increase numbers. The eligible single farmer (SEF) is officially declining, and it is a tragedy not recognised by national media, or animal welfare charities.

Step one, The hardest part is finding the single farmer in his natural habitat, you so rarely catch them out of it, so often your only option is to sneak quietly into their habitat, and approach very slowly, with great caution.

The farmer is rarely aggressive or dangerous, but they are very shy and may flee on sudden movements, so keep it calm Ladies, very calm.

I recommend taking positions such as ‘country nurse’ or ‘country nanny’ or most popular the ‘country school teacher’  These familiar positions in society seem to assist the SEF in feeling comfortable and occasionally even reaching out of his own accord to meet or familiarise himself with the Single Interested Female.

A less endangered species that often is found nearby the single eligible farmer is a strange and somewhat interesting study of a creature, and that is the ‘Farmers Mother’

It is highly recommended that you seek them out, and much easier found I assure you. Coffee shops in country towns, pilates classes, the small town IGA, and CWA meetings are a good place to begin. Look for the well dressed older lady with jeans and floral button down shirt-collar turned UP, and large colourful, chunky bead necklaces.

These are the Farmers Mothers you need to target. Once you have established a repoire with them they will assist you to find your desired SEF.

Step two, once you have established contact, be wary. Until you have secured the first date, do NOT I repeat DO NOT make sudden moves. It takes a great while for many of our dear endangered SEF to feel comfortable around the Single Interested Female (SIF). Take your time..

Step three, this is the most important step, once you have secured the all important First Date, stay classy. There are far too many advertisements that indicate getting down and muddy in your ripped jeans and bikini tops will attract SEF, however they do not imprint as firmly on such a SIF.

I recommend wearing pretty sundresses, and sensible but smart clothing at all times, never being unwilling to go to work, but never exposing your mud wrestler talents either. At least not until the SEF has fully developed the dependance on your company you require. Perhaps even keep such a side hidden until after the all important Proposal.

This is step four, if you have performed all tasks correctly, you should after a not too long a period secure the proposal. No, silly, not a marriage proposal, no ma’am those is far more significant!

When he says to you, ‘would you like to drive my tractor’ then you know for sure, you have hooked your very own Single Eligible Farmer.

Congratulations.

xox Jillaroo. ❤